Winter 1994

THE SEARCH FOR THE PERFECT TYPO - By Fred

Many of you will be receiving this newsletter in our new brochure. We liked the way it
turned out and hope the new format will work. We are excited about the retreat aspect of our work. We already have an outside group that is going to use the facility for a large private retreat.

As many of you know, much of my work is involved in guiding people through their own creative process. Often, I speak about process, not product. Yet I too have my own struggles with that very concept. When it comes to my creative project of the brochure, I am also pushed to get everything "perfect". I hope each year to get it all correct. Invariably though, there is some typo or something else that didn't work. I spend a solid day and stare at the error. I then work to let it go, using all the skills we teach. No one ever said this process is easy - for anyone!

But this year I was going to get it perfect. My demon and I had the perfect plan. (The demon usually does.) We found a wonderful lady, Joy, who is very knowledgeable in computers. She has a laser printer and we were going to get every page camera ready for the printer. Perfect, right?

So then there is a disk problem in the transferring and Joy ends up typing in a lot of copy. We shift things, and have a deadline. The computer left things out when rearranging. I didn't read it over that one millionth last time and...and...and...so to make a long story short, guess what? TYPOS!

FEAR OF FEELINGS (First in a Series) - By Jack

I have decided to write this series because, in the course of working in sessions with
people as well as in the giving of workshops, it is clear to me that most people have a profound ignorance, fear, misunderstanding and distrust of their feelings. I believe this to be the case for a number of reasons.

Our ignorance about our feeling states comes out of our own parents', their parents' and on back through the psychological history of generations' ignorance, fear, misunderstanding and distrust of feelings. Because feelings have carried those kinds of meanings, rather than being corrected, the dysfunctional meanings are transmitted from generation to generation.

The origins of our fear about our feelings lies in a number of places. Because, for many of us, our parents had their own fears about their feeling states and those of others, those fears were communicated to us either emotionally (the parent becoming anxious or remote when certain feelings happened) or reacted verbally to feelings with words like, "It's not nice to get angry."

Another place of origin for our fear of our feelings lies in our primal experience of them. If, because of the wounded-ness of our parenting persons or because they simply didn't know that was happening to us at a feeling level when we had a need to be nurtured, recognized, calmed, etc., our parents could not be there for us. We were left along with our pain which appeared to us to be unresolvable, which it was at the time. The result was that we came to distrust and fear those kinds of feelings. Thus, whenever those kinds of feelings are in danger of being, or are being generated inside our Selves, we run from them in the fear that we will be left alone with them and we will be overwhelmed by them once again. When we construct that kind of internal system in relation or our feelings, we misunderstand their function and we relate to them with great distrust. As a further result, instead of being able to use them to the advantage they were meant, we are shut down by them.

The real function of our feelings is to inform us as to where we stand in relationship to the world and to our Selves. They either inform us that we are in a relationship of well-being to our Selves and the world; or they tell us we are in a relationship of danger or imbalance to our Selves and the world. If, however, we are in a relationship of distrust and fear about any or all of our feeling states, we cut off the first level of awareness we have of our Selves and of the world around us.

In the next issue, we will explore the impact this has on us: "Negative and Positive Feelings: A Big Misunderstanding".

"WINTER SLEEP" - By Sister Mary Horan

Gone from the fields are the coverlets,
multicolored and gay;
Small protection they
Against the cold winds that blow.
But see, Our Father has laid instead
A blanket of snow;
Soft, white glistening, wind-tossed petals.
Too fragile to lay a mighty shield,
Against the icy grip that would destroy
The tender seedlings sleeping in the Earth
Awaiting Spring's rebirth.

Sister Mary is a dear fried of IAM Counseling and Retreat Center from the early days of the office on Riverside Drive in New York City.

Selections from: Spring Is In Winter's Out and Other Funny Poems by Drew Amoroso, age 9, winner of the 4th grade regional poetry book contest. Drew is a close neighbor at Tesserville Farm.

BILLY McGRIFF

Billy McGriff was a lover of sports,
He'd play on the fields and he'd play on the courts.
He'd get a homerun, a touchdown or two,
But don't smell his shoes -

P-U

SICK

I am sick in bed today,
My temperature is at 104;
My mommy and the doctor's say,
It might rise even more;
I have a little cold,
Including the measles and the mumps;
Today I am home for,
These itchy little bumps;
I have a very sore throat
And an eye that is black and blue;
I hope it's not contagious,
Because I am very close to you.

Web Site Developed By:

About Us | Programs Offered | Upcoming Events | Newsletter | Contact Us | Map/Directions | Links | IAM Shop | Home